I miss my mom.

9 years ago this week I lost my mom to breast cancer. She was diagnosed about 2 years prior to her death and she had chemo and radiation to get rid of the disease that would later turn my mom into someone unknown to me. The cancer spread from her breast to her lung to her bones and then to her brain. She was a woman destined to be surrounded by grandchildren. Sadly she only really got to know three of them before she died.
My mom and I never got along as i grew up. I guess I didnt fit the dream of what a daughter was going to be. I argued constantly. I rebelled against her religion and blamed her for my dad leaving. I spent so many years mad at her that I regret losing that time with her.
I can remember at the end when the cancer was so advanced that between the cancer in her brain and the medications she was on that she would scream awful things at me or tell the nurses terrible things. I wonder did she really believe some of them?
After her death we had a memorial service in Va where we are from and the number of people who turned out to share their memories with us was so therapeutic. I guess I never knew how many lives she touched. We scattered her ashes on April Fools' Day in the ocean within sight of a lighthouse which she loved.

It seemed like a great idea at midnight

After getting the boys in bed I went to my friend's house and we ran up to Wallyworld for the 12:01 release of Twilight. Nothing makes you realize your age like standing in a line of 300 people 90% of whom were under 18. I felt like such a dirty old woman (hmm not too far off the mark I suppose). So friend finally got her copy and we realized the lines were very long. We decided to shop at Walmart for all those things you just know you need at midnight. Finally got out of the store around 12:30 and drove back to her house where we had a bottle of red wine waiting for us and munchies of course.
To say that I lusted after Edward and Jasper would be an understatement. Of course the red wine loosened up the lips and the censor was gone for the evening but there was noone but my friend and her pets to hear me.
Got home at 2:40 and of course had to get online for a few. Got to bed at 3am. Now this body and mind could party with the best of them not too long ago but those days are definitely gone. I'm off to take the kids to breakfast and then maybe a nap. Wish me luck.

Could someone dumb it down for me?

I admit it. I'm challenged in some ways. Blogging is a bit baffling at times. How do I become a "follower" when I'm on someones blog? Does it typically say follow me or subscribe? LOL Pitiful huh?
Also any other little tidbits that may be helpful are always appreciated. Share away please!

some things just baffle the mind

Just let me start by saying if I offend you with this post than you might be a bit thin skinned.

How is it that people who are on a limited income and receiving food stamps among other benefits from our government can afford to buy cigarettes that are 5.60 a pack? For that price they could buy a loaf of bread, peanut butter, a couple bananas and maybe even toilet paper. Ok now we're talking generic brands but you get the picture.
I have a neighbor who is always at my door borrowing (her way of saying can I have it and never return it?) things. In the last two weeks heres the list:
toilet paper, computer paper, sugar, bandaids, ice, soda (wtf?), a pencil, crayons, and flour. I dont think they ever go to the store and actually do real shopping. I know youre thinking they must be broke and cant afford to but the husband smokes a pack a day (lets just call it 5.00 a pack x 7 days) and has a race car he is fixing up. Can we say messed up priorities?

Bet you didnt know

I know there has to be something hidden in the depths of my mind that I could share here. Give me a second or two to figure it out. Wait is that smoke I smell? I must be thinking too hard.

Bet you didnt know that I have a real issue with food touching me. If we go out to eat and my youngest is sitting by me it makes my skin crawl. Just seeing those little grubby hands glistening with grease or sauce or whatever he has found on his plate makes my skin crawl. Whats worse is he seems to know it and loves to come at me (its about the only time he wants to hug his mom). Oh and the lovely ladies at the gym daycare give them lollipops each night they are there (on the way out the door of course so I get to deal with the mess). I swear those ladies hate me.

Why am I sharing a bet you didnt know when I rarely answer those types of quizzes on other boards you may be wondering? Well you can read why here:
http://abritandabit.typepad.com/spotted_dick_and_other_mu/

Yes thats right I am trying to win the Twilight giveaway. I have a serious obsession with all things vampire from Anne Rice to Charlaine Harris.

Where to begin?

Today is St Patricks Day and I'm so ready to have some fun. Too bad the children's idea of fun is completely opposite of mine. Apparently for them nagging mom to give them food, drink, change the channels is top on their list of cool things to do in the afternoon. Lets not forget the screaming at each other. Now doesnt that sound like fun?

I convinced hubby that we need to go to Finnegans Wake for at least an hour or two tonight. Good guy considering hes not Irish and he has to get up at 4:15 in the morning to get to the train in time. I suppose hes hoping for something in return.

A cute joke in honor of the day.

Patrick O'Reily wasn't feeling too good so he went to the doctors. The doctor ran some tests and came back to tell O'Reily, "I can't find anything wrong with you, Patrick. It must be the drink." O'Reily shrugged and answered, "Don't worry about it doc. I'll come back when you're sober."